48 Hour Silent Retreat in Big Sur

Keri and I ventured on a 48 hour silent retreat, Tuesday through Thursday last week. Now that might sound daunting, but it truly rested us and blessed us, as you will see.

It was at the New Camaldoli Hermitage in Big Sur, as you drive up the cliffs on Hwy 1 from San Luis Obispo. It is catholic, and yes, there are monks there.  They were really kind and hospitable. 


We had separate rooms, that were simple, with a twin bed, desk, lamp and .5 bathroom. 

They also provided a hot pot for tea/coffee (which we specifically enjoyed...we recommend mint tea combined with chamomile tea, it's perfect for sunset watching). The meals were pre-made and we could go and get them whenever we wanted and bring them back to our room.  They also had, bread, cereal, fruit, toast, yogurt and other stuff available. 





The coolest part of our room was that through the back door, there was a private garden, fenced on both sides, with a breathtaking view of the ocean. Keri and I spent most of our time  in awe of that view. 

It was amazing, but hard to describe it in words, since it was silence the whole time. We thought we could share some of our immediate reflections with you all. Hopefully they will stir some thoughts for you as they did for us...

Keri's Reflections:

"It felt like normal days with God, where I felt His presence, but He didn’t bring up anything profound. It was neat to be reminded of the constant conversation that I can have with God amidst daily life and how full and abundantly life-giving this gift is to us. I enjoyed having my own space to make decisions to sit and journal, or read, or rest, differently than I make at home now that I’ve been married. 

There was a moment that I found Dave, and we were sitting in silence together watching the sunset, and I felt overwhelmed in the gift of God’s presence in our marriage. God was affirming His presence and reminding me in all circumstances with Dave He is there, living and active, even in conflict. Reflecting with Dave after the trip, we both desire to have evenings of silence together. In the moments we sat together on the silent retreat, we both felt so understood and known by each other. Our spirits really felt unified and we realized how sometimes words can get in the way, especially overanalyzing things, of just being together. We already have structured our lives around rest with practicing the sabbath, no tv, no internet, and evenings of down time reading or with others. However, we both desire to have times of silence together as we step towards a restful pace and restful heart."

Dave's Reflections:

"Some of my favorite parts were the sunrises and sunsets. Seeing God's radiance in the light transitions of evening and morning were full of wordless meaning. It blew my mind that every day the slow rising and setting, the beauty, and the power stood so quietly behind my busy day back at home. I can miss so quickly that God starts everyday with such a proclamation of Himself quietly behind the world.

  Silence was also amazing, since, my wife and I were at the same retreat center. Words are such a central place for relationship, and specifically for ours. It was amazing to see her and realize I didn’t need to speak.  Seeing her just carried so much meaning on it’s own.  This made me want to have wordless times together at home.  To be reminded of how present God is both in our conversations and in our silence.  I felt the weight of my effort of trying and trying to make meaning for myself through words--yet I experienced meaning so easily without them.  This was sweet.

I also was reminded how stress can run my life so easily. That anxiety is something I submit to so often, rather than to Jesus.  It has become a constant habit for me. God brought this up toward the end of the retreat, showing me that with Him and with others, I look for emotional validation. I am constantly looking over my shoulder to make sure God is there, and when I feel that He isn’t I am concerned He has left me.  I also realized how reticently I come to Him. Though I like to process with Him, I often hide the parts of me that feel incomplete, or I feel that I have to complete them for Him. God is helping me to be okay feeling incomplete with Him, which is dis-concerning and great."