Spring Semester Update

Homework at Creek Park

We have been reading lots of books this Semester!! With 4 classes our load has been large! Yet, each semester our classes have blended and overlapped in material, which has been helpful in our learning process. This is why we are quite a bit behind at posting what we have been studying and learning, but don't worry, we want to catch up now that it's Easter Break. Here are the 4 classes we are taking:

Developmental Spirituality and Contemplative Prayer
Just like studying development of humans, from infants to old age, we are studying the "developmental" process of the Christian life. The journey is different for everyone, but we are learning the ways our spirituality develops from those that grow up in the church to those that become Christians later in life. Though the Spirit works differently in all people's lives, there are certain ways we can learn and understand the process of "growing in Christ".

Psychopathology and Personality Theory
Here we are studying what "abnormal" means physically, socially, emotionally, psychologically, developmentally, cognitively, behaviorally, etc. We will also be studying personality theory, i.e. how you've become who you are.

Retreat
We are learning what it means to go on "retreat", what "retreat" means in-and-of-itself, how to plan a personal retreat, individual retreat for someone else, group retreat, silent retreat, etc. Dave and I each get to plan a retreat for each other, go on the 48 hour retreat that we planned, and then write-up a paper on how the retreat went.

Theology 2: Study of Works of God, Man, Angels, and Sin
Though this is an independent study class, this has been one of our favorite classes this semester. The books we are reading are challenging and foundational as we continue our study of humanity, sin, God, and angels. Reading articles by Augustine, Anselm, Aquinas, Luther, Edwards, Wesley, Calvin, etc.  are giving us a broad understanding of how Christian History has shaped our study of God.

My Soul

Generally, people don't wonder about the state of their soul. It's actually kind of a weird phrase, don't you think? Is the soul able to have a state? Is it constant or ever-moving? Is it real or a nice idea? And can I or you or anyone really change it? (and, really, who has the time to care?). It's  the same with the "heart" and "looking inward" or any other reflective imagery.

The inner life doesn't really become important to our society until there is a reason for it. As long as it is "under control" or at least "manageable", then one feels okay. It is like the old saying "children are better seen than heard".  As if one could calm the inner life by telling it to be quiet and sit in the corner.

The inner life is a scary environment. It is full of all the monsters that have scared us, all the

                                                                                                         rules that have broken us, all the moments that

                                                          have shaped us.

"When my heart was embittered 

And I was pierced within,

Then I was senseless and ignorant; 

I was like a beast before You." 

-Psalm 73:21-22

We are complicated creatures. We feel in control only when we don't have any issues. Jesus has powerful words regarding this...

"Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites!

 For you clean the outside of the cup and of the dish, 

but inside they are full of robbery and self-indulgence."

-Matthew 23:25

The state of our souls mattered very much to Jesus. Not just for robbery and self-indulgence, but every form of evil. George MacDonald has a great insight regarding this:

"No, there is no escape. There is no heaven with a little of hell in it; no plan to retain this or that of the devil in our hearts or our pockets. Out Satan must go, every hair and feather."

In "The Great Divorce" C.S. Lewis expounds on this:

"Both good and evil, when they have fully grown, become retrospective. Not only in this valley [heaven] but all their earthly past will have been Heaven to those who are saved. Not only their twilight in that town [Hell], but all their life on Earth too, will then be seen by the damned to have been Hell...both process begin before death. The good man's past begins to change so that his forgiven sins and remembered sorrows take on the quality of Heaven; the bad man's past already conforms to his badness and is filled only with dreariness. 

And that is why, at the end of all things, when the sun rises here and the twilight turns to blackness down there, the Blesses with say 'We have never lived anywhere except Heaven,' and the Lost, 'We were always in Hell'. And both will speak truly."

This is the gravity of our inner life. It is constantly shaping and forming an eternal reality within us. By love the Holy Spirit works Heaven into our hearts and lives. And through sin and deception Satan fosters Hell. And though some areas seem grey now, it will be black and white very soon.

"Behold, You desire truth in the innermost being, 

And in the hidden part You will make me know wisdom."

-Psalm 51:6

God desires an unashamed honesty with us. Jesus praised those who came to him sinful and broken. He often rebuked those who did not. How have we twisted His gospel so much?

When I sin I often feel afraid, ashamed, guilty. And I wonder, "How can I come to God now?" Somewhere inside I'm certain He will reject me.

Or I think, "I cannot let Him see me like this..." as if keeping my darkness from Him is some sort of religious pity on Him (Yet dark and light are alike to Him).

Even deeper, I wonder if Jesus can handle my sin. "No one else could deal with me. I can't even deal with me sometimes. How could Jesus?"

Each of these hesitating questions shrinks my view of God and avoids my true state. In essence, this is blindness.


12 "For the word of God is living and active and sharper than any two-edged sword, and piercing as far as the division of soul and spirit, of both joints and marrow, and able to judge the thoughts and intentions of the heart.

 13 And there is no creature hidden from His sight, but all things are open and laid bare to the eyes of Him with whom we have to do.

 14 Therefore, since we have a great high priest who has passed through the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold fast our confession.

 15 For we do not have a high priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but One who has been tempted in all things as we are, yet without sin.

 16 Therefore let us draw near with confidence to the throne of grace, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need."

-Hebrews 4:12-16

Week 1 Reflection & Week 2 Beginning

Week 1

Our Monday Classes went well!  We have all day monday classes: 10:30-11:30 (every other week), 12-2:30, 3-5:30, 7-9:40.....so it's a long day. 

For our first class with Dr. Coe, one of the books we are reading this week is Surrender to Love. It talks about how the definition of Love IS God. As His creation, made for experiential love relationship through Jesus, His redemptive presence moves toward us. Though sin and disfunction plague us from pure vision, He desires surrender to His perfect love. It talks about fear and how that affects our ability to be loved. Fear has many faces. God invites surrender and freedom, but we do not believe ourselves to be afraid (which ends up preventing freedom!). When we have experienced love that we've been hurt by (imperfect love) then Love can turn into the object of fear. But Love is the antidote for fear, so it becomes a cycle. He desires reverential intimacy recognizing His holiness (which we've failed to do)- for unconditional love demands surrender. Here are a few quotes from the book:

- "Take a moment and try a simple exercise. The results will tell you a great deal about the nature of your spiritual journey. Imagine God thinking about you. What do you assume God feels when you come to mind? When I ask people to do this, a surprising number of people say that the first thing they assume God feels is disappointment. Others assume that God feels anger. In both cases, these people are convinced that it is their sin that first catches God's attention. I think they are wrong-and I think the consequences of such a view of God are enormous..."(beginning of Ch.1)